You can use your own caption!

Can you imagine flying in Upper Class, only to find that your companions for the 11-hour journey ahead are the lovable Liam Gallagher and his drinking buddy Lily Allen!

The pair were allegedly, already in a party mood after drinking champagne in the VIP lounge before boarding their flight from Heathrow to Tokyo.

The fiery two then continued their drinking session for the entire flight and beyond, with cabin crew repeatedly asking them to keep it down.

Half of the 30 passengers in the Upper Class section were Gallagher and Allen’s entourage, all heading for the Fuji Rocks Festival in Japan.

A passenger on the flight was to have said;

“They were already well-oiled by the time they came on board. There is obviously a different set of rules for celebrities.”

Virgin isn’t about to turn away 30 odd passengers because a couple of them have had a drink are they, of course it’s a different set of rules, money talks!

Pete Doherty

Druggie Pete Doherty has confessed to still having feeling for his ex-girlfriend Kate Moss and has said that he would like to speak to her.

In a magazine interview, the singer admitted to wanting to go along to the watch the Lily Allen gig but was telephoned by her record label and asked not to go as Ms. Moss would be attending and it would take the attention away from Lily.

He was said to be totally insulted by this, however,  he did say that he would probably have head-butted her boyfriend (Jamie Hince) and run-off with the supermodel over his shoulder!

Wise move by the record label if you ask me, that boy needs therapy.

Luke Tittensor, who plays Daz Eden in Emmerdale, was in court today where he pleaded guilty to assaulting a 16-year-old boy.

The 19-year-old actor, admitted to causing grievous bodily harm to the victim, which was so bad that the youngster required surgery to have his lower jaw pinned.  The thug is to be sentenced on April 29.

The incident occurred in February 2008 while the victim was stood in a street in Bolton waiting for a taxi.  Something was thrown from a car in which Tittensor was travelling and the victim responded verbally.  Tittensor is then believed to have got out of the car and assaulted the young boy.

At the time of the initial reports a spokesman for the actor said how worried Tittensor was about the incident and how he could lose everything he’d worked for.

Well, I hope he gets exactly what he deserves, a good prison sentence and compensation for his young victim, he’s nothing but a thug!

The Osbourne Threat

Lily Allen obviously hasn’t been getting enough press coverage lately so has now decided to tell her little tale of not kissing one girl but two!

The story, given in an interview to a gay magazine goes,

“I did once snog these identical twins in San Diego.  I was on the sofa and I had them both, I was dancing and shoving my arse on one of them and one on my front bottom.  That’s the only time, but I do have wet dreams – lesbian dreams – quite a lot.”

How desperate is that girl to push her new album, might work for some girls but not for fag-ash Lily and her chavs!

Meanwhile, Kelly Osbourne has returned to rehab, although no information has yet been given to the reason why.

Her mother Sharon, confirmed that she is staying at a centre in LA for thirty-days of treatment and how proud they are of her!

Why would you be proud that your daughter is yet again in rehab?  Most parents are proud when their children have never had to face rehab, that is one f***ed Up family.

Mrs Osbourne recently sent out a warning to anyone writing anything bad about her family, she said,

“Say what you want about me, but don’t talk about my family.

Mess with me and you may find a horse’s head in your bed.”

That’s an awful lot of horses she is going to have to find and mutilate, but I would still rather wake up next to that than Ozzy!

Lily Allen

Mouthy brat, Lily Allen has launched her new song relating to today’s drug culture called ‘Everyone’s At It’ where she sings about what gets put up her nose.

Well, it’s not big and it’s not clever Ms Allen, and for someone who seems as screwed up as she is, it’s not really what we want her young fans listening too.

In the song she sings the lines;

“I get involved but I’m not advocating….I’m not trying to say that I’m smelling of roses, but when will we tire of putting s**t up our noses?”

The chorus goes;

“Why can’t we all just be honest, admit to ourselves that every-one’s on it?  From politicians to young adolescents, prescribing themselves anti-depressants.”

Lily Allen

Lily Allen was the joint presenter at the GQ Awards last night alongside Elton John and yet again she showed her true colours.  The girl is a total embarrassment and not the sort of person that the British people what to be associated with, she is just a spoilt little brat that can’t handle her drink, when are people going to stop offering her work.

As usual she seemed in control until the drinking started even topping up her champagne glass on stage during the presentation until she started looking bored and began slurring her words, as well as the usual swearing, that girl is such a mess.

As the 23-year-old announced “…and now the most important part of the night”, Elton replied by saying “What? Are you going to have another drink?”.

Allen replied, “F*** off Elton.  I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!”  Well let’s hope it’s not on our screens, she needs therapy!

Elton then added “I could snort you under the table”, she answered “F*** off.  I don’t know what you are talking about.” Yeah right!

Allegedly the pair were seen in the wings having words and as soon as the out-of-control singer left the stage she continued to drink even more, she’s so grown-up!

This is one of the bratz that represents the UK and I for one am totally ashamed of her and the way she acts, she is a drunk and a slob, get her into rehab and out of the media.

Lily Allen

Classy bird, Lily Allen, was last night seen hitting out at a fan on another night out.  Apparently, the passer-by told Allen she was a f***ing a******e, and the singer reacted by telling the stranger to say it to her face before calling her a f*****g w***e, clenching her fist and punching out at her.

What an inspiration that girl is, if she’s not got her boobs on show, she is being carried out of somewhere, too drunk too walk and it now appears that she is going to follow in the path of the Amy Winehouse saga of battering anyone who she doesn’t like.

You would think that her age, Sadie Frost, ex-wife of Jude Law and mother of four, would know better, but apparently not.

The 43-year-old, was seen stumbling out of the home of Amy Winehouse, the worse for wear, with her dress undone at the back and wearing a pair of Winehouse’s pink ballet pumps.

Frost and her on-off boyfriend, Kristian Marr, looked quite normal when the arrived at the singers home, but Frost needed help to even get to her car when the couple left at 2.30am.

Frost announced in 2006, that she was giving up alcohol, but that appears to have been forgotten, that’s if it was alcohol!

pinocchio

Lily Allen has posted a new blog on her MySpace page, denying that her recent photographs which appeared in the press where she was wearing a baggy top which kept exposing her breasts, was not a publicity stunt.

Yeah right!  A girl knows when she is likely to flash more than is intended and would make provisions, but not Miss Allen, she knew exactly what she was doing, she loves it!

According to recent reports, Kate Moss was snubbed by Radio 1 DJ  Zane Lowe in Ibiza last week when she tried to join him on stage,

A source reportedly said,

“Zane likes Kate, but his minders took exception to her trying to get into the DJ box and told her to leave because she was making a nuisance of herself.”

photo: Keven Law

Last night was the Glamour Women of the Year Awards, which saw Lily Allen with a new pink hairstyle coordinating with her white satin dress embroidered with motifs of Bambi with it’s throat cut, nice!

She was presented with the coveted ‘Editor’s Special Award’ as the Glamour editor, Jo Elvin announced “With reams of column inches to match her considerable talents, no Women of the Year line-up could be complete without the one and only Lily Allen”. Unfortunately, it is not always the publicity she would like as she is becoming known mainly through her inability to handle alcohol.

The 23-year-old was seen being carried out from the exclusive Berkeley Square by a bodyguard and put into a car as she could barely stand-up, again, what a great role model for the kids!

She had apparently been seen earlier in the evening being propped-up by Mark Ronson as she was having trouble staying on her feet.

The Spice Girls were awarded ‘Best Band’ category for their come-back tour and Emma Bunton, Melanie Brown and Geri Halliwell attended to receive their gong but no sign of Post. Kelly Osbourne was also awarded a gong for the ‘Theatre’ category for her debut on stage in the musical ‘Chicago’.